Kailey King’s association with Hospice of the Western Reserve started when she was 9 years old, soon after her father’s unexpected death.
Since that time the now 24-year-old Willoughby woman has served as a volunteer with the organization, helping youngsters cope with their grief.
Described as a “much-loved counselor” by a hospice staff member, she transitioned from attending Together We Can grief camps held each summer at Red Oak Camp in Kirtland as a camper to someone who is now part of the supportive team.
As a teen volunteer she worked behind the scenes helping out with supplies and various other duties. Eventually she was trained as a counselor.
“I go back every year because I see the children grow throughout those three days, and they say that they want to be like me,” King said. “When they grow up, they want to volunteer. It makes me feel like I’ve done something great.”
Diane Snyder Cowan, former director of the Western Reserve Grief Services of Hospice of the Western Reserve, shared the benefits of the camp in an article posted on the organization’s website:
“Children tend to process their grief differently than adults,” Cowan wrote. “It provides a ‘safe zone’ where kids can feel comfortable sharing emotions and asking questions in a supportive environment. Camp activities encourage memories and the expression of feelings.
“The children engage in memory-making art and nature projects that honor their special person,” she continued. “We do a drum circle every year that the kids and counselors enjoy. They also have time to enjoy the gorgeous outdoor setting and have fun with other children. There is swimming, rock climbing, archery and kayaking in the afternoon.
“There is comfort in being with other children who have experienced a death. They learn they are not alone, they are not going crazy and that other children their age are coping with some of the same kinds of feelings.”
King noted that at the time of her father’s death it was difficult to relate to other children because most had not undergone such a tragic loss. But by expressing her feelings in journals and taking part in beneficial activities and programs the healing process ensued.
As a counselor King has witnessed several children begin their own journeys toward healing. One boy who remained quiet during most of the camp finally broke down in tears on the last day.
“This is usually children’s first experience with someone close passing away,” King said. “They don’t know how to deal with it.”
Some children are fearful of visiting the cemetery but once King explains that they can help to keep the gravesite clean and place decorations there they become excited.
“Knowing I could make a little bit of difference in how this child views a cemetery makes me feel fulfilled,” she said.
Other experiences have proved gratifying for her as well.
For example, last summer King worked with a boy who lost his mother. During the camp he told her that his mother loved butterflies. The day after camp ended a butterfly landed on King’s shoulder.
“I felt like that was his mother coming back and telling me thanks,” she said.
Sharing the personal story of her loss and subsequent recovery often serves as an impactful tool for the children.
“They see that I got through it and they can too,” King said. “It’s OK to miss your loved ones. It’s OK, you can cry.”
Volunteers are an integral part of Hospice, and King encourages those who are considering coming forward in that capacity to do so.
“I feel like sometimes people are afraid because they don’t have any experience, but there are different ways to volunteer,” she said. “You can clean, cook, sit with the patients.”
Over the years she has also witnessed the positive difference that gifts to Hospice can make.
“I’ve seen those donations and how they help…whether it be art supplies or teddy bears…just the joy that it brings to people,” she said, adding that “I have seven teddy bears. They remind me of my time there and they remind me of my dad.”
Western Reserve Grief Services provides comprehensive offerings of grief programs to anyone needing support on their grief journey. A family member does not have to have a loved one in hospice care to take part in children’s bereavement camps, equine (horse) camps, family programs, special events, art therapy groups, Healing Arts Workshops, online forums and a wide variety of grief support groups.
Crisis response in the community and in-school grief programs are available.
For more information, call the center at 216-486-6838 or 800-707-8922 or visit hospicewr.org.
